


Bones Explains it All

by Corvidology



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Christmas, Double Drabble, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:07:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28368885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corvidology/pseuds/Corvidology
Summary: I offer ficlets for the 12 Days of Christmas to my mates and Lunabee34 asked for 'Star Trek AOS: Christmas on a starship.'
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	Bones Explains it All

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lunabee34 (Lorraine)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lorraine/gifts).



"Christmas is time travelling ghosts, the oversized corpse of a _Anser anser domesticus_ , distribution of wealth and funding cures for tiny human children."

"Not even close." Bones was getting a headache and the Saurian brandy wasn't helping. 

Nobody had ever had a better _fuck you_ face than Spock while barely raising an eyebrow. "We studied it at the Academy in '420: Classic literature of the Federation planets' and I have perfect recall."

"Bones is right." Jim struggled to raise his head but then he'd gotten into the Saurian brandy before Bones had got off shift. "There's fiber producers, a Jupiter-Saturn conjunction, scientists, gold and... Ancient Egyptian embalming fluid supplies." Jim propped his head up on his hand. "And a big red suited guy who breaks into your house and is immortal, unlike most of our red shirts..." 

"My memaw would box your ears!"

"Why would she put my ears in a box?" Spock put a protective hand over his ears as if memaw were lurking in wait.

"She'd—" 

"...and virgin birth!" Jim looked smug. 

"Humans are not capable of asexual reproduction." Spock was insistent. 

"Computer, play 'Charlie Brown's Christmas.' Now y'all learn the true meaning of Christmas you damn fools!"

**Author's Note:**

> Christmas is never mentioned in Star Trek canon but 'A Christmas Carol' references come up a few times.


End file.
